Monday, August 4, 2014

Why I'm won't do the Shmirah Project

Along the lines of yesterday's post. Love is choice, and more aptly a verb, not a noun, not something that happens to you. And the more you do for others, the more you love them. 

I'm pretty sure, the way the shmirah project works is taking an Israeli soldier's first name and mom's name and having them in mind when you pray, do good deeds, etc... If I did something like this for a man that wasn't my husband, I would love him. And I think it's fair to say that I'm uncomfortable with that. Even though I wouldn't know his full name, or if he was still alive, I don't feel comfortable with it. It might not be that way for everyone else, and if it isn't that way for you and you're a part of this admirable project, then I commend you. Truly, I do. I wish I could be so pure-minded.

But right now, I think that if there is any one person I should be investing my actions, my tefilot and my thoughts to, it should be my husband. 

Rant completed,

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Love is a Choice

Hello to the .278 percent of you who still read my blog! It was mighty swell of you to stop by! 

So it's 2 am on a Saturday night and I tend to write/say and do completely illogical and downright stupid things on Saturday nights to fill the void of my neshama yeteira leaving me. Behold, the ramblings of me:

Tonight's topic of discussion is love. Or more to the point, choosing love.

For most of my life, I was under the impression that love chose you and you had no control over who you liked or didn't like. And then I grew up. And I realized something I hope many of you have known for a long time. But just in case you don't, I'll explain my epiphany below:
Every day I wake up and I CHOOSE to love my son, I CHOOSE to love my husband and I CHOOSE to love my family and friends. Many days this is not an easy decision. Many days I feel like being lazy and not putting in the effort. Now the "effort" I speak of here deserves elaboration as well because for so long all I heard people say was that marriage and parenting was WORK and that it took some serious EFFORT. I thought they meant physically, like doing your husband's and children's laundry and dishes and cooking them dinner, etc. Turns out I was wrong. Dead wrong. It takes all the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual power I possess. It is me deciding consciously not to take the easy way out and run away from it all. It's me deciding to actively be there as a listening ear for my family when they need me, even if I'd rather be taking a nap. It's me getting through the day to day and knowing that tomorrow will be just as if not more challenging than today. It's me choosing to love.

Maybe for other people it's not so hard. Most people make it look easy. (I don't know if this is because it actually is easy for them or because they feel they have to be perfect to the outside world). But I think it's okay that it's hard for me. I think it's healthier that way. You end up loving things you work harder for more, right? 

For example, I invited my friends over for Shabbat once and made them walk a ton to get somewhere (the destination wasn't really the important part, it was the journey I was interested in. Yes, I am now thinking of "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus. Nebach.) They were complaining the whole way, but after we came back from our "hike", they literally could not stop talking about how much fun they had.

Life is funny that way. It's hard. But that's why you love it. You work and work and just when you think you've given it all you got, you work some more. 

Sounds daunting I know, but in my opinion, life is not about happiness or comfort, or about pleasure in any form. It's about working hard to actualize your potential and helping others. Happiness and pleasure is often a biproduct of these, but it's definitely not an end unto itself.

A thought just occurred to me. My writing has gotten a bit more sophisticated...and well...a little less weird. I'm still ADD though, as I'm sure you have all noticed. Hope you're ok with that. On second thought, I don't really care if you're not.

See you on the flip side,

The ever-evolving FF 

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

"If you got it, flaunt it"...or should you?

So I was "in the neighborhood", you could say, and I had gotten an email out of the blue from an old time follower telling me it was time to start blogging again. Though it doesn't seem likely that that will be the case any time soon, I haven't been able to fall asleep tonight. So I guess ill take advantage of this rare (usually I sleep like a log) opportunity to write a little. 

I know it's been a while, and a lot has changed since the last time I wrote. On one hand I want to share it with you all, and on the other, I don't. What is she talking about?! You're probably wondering. Well I'll tell you! 

For the longest time I've been extremely frustrated with people who flaunt their personal lives on the Internet. When I was frustrated in dating, it was the people who were posting picture after picture of their husbands and their amazing vacations, etc that bothered me up the wazoo. And more recently, it was the people who posted an abysmal amount of baby pictures. 

So now you're probably thinking that I'm a jealous person and that I don't like seeing other people have what I don't have. And to a certain extent you'd be right. But honestly, I think it's more to do with the fact that though my dating experiences were relatively mild compared to my friends horrendous journeys, it was more the baby pictures that bothered me personally. And that would be because almost exactly a year ago, I had a miscarriage. 

It's amazing how much people take having babies for granted. How when things are easy for you (myself included), you don't even bother to think about the person who things might not be so easy for. For the past year I had to sit through so many conversations about parents complaining about getting no sleep, or having no social life because of their children, not knowing myself if I could or would ever have a child. 

I'm not going to lie. The pain is still there. I will always wonder what could have been had that baby been born. Yet, at the same time I know it happened for a reason, and I accept that, and I am grateful and happy to be alive and healthy. 

The good news (and the real reason for this post) is that my husband and I are expecting again, BH, bili ayin hara, mashala, poo poo poo, etc. But this time, we are more sensitive about sharing our news. (I really hope I haven't offended anyone by posting this information, because obviously, that was not my intent). 

I guess another reason for this post is to just make those who were unaware aware of the fact that, yeah! I'm happy for you! I want you to have a great and exciting life. But that doesn't mean you have to share every single detail of your joy with me. Especially if you know I'm having it rough for whatever reason.

P.S. I have to thank each and every one of you for facilitating my husband and my meeting each other, and furthermore, my pregnancy! You guys are all getting super points in shamayim I presume! Well done! And though I'm still trying to figure out the balance between what is ok to share and what is not, I will try and keep you guys updated about "feisty frummy junior" ;) Anyhow, over and out! ;)


Thursday, October 25, 2012

The Day Has Come...

My Life is Frum has reached over 10,000 views! Hooray! And it's all thanks to you guys and all those blessed people who google image searched "dead michael jackson picture" and came up with my page. (Strangely, there were a lot.) I love you guys. And BECAUSE I love you, I'm just gonna be honest with you. I'm probably not writing much more on this blog. It served its time and purpose. I may write every once in a while, but for now, consider this an ending to a very wonderful period in my life. (Just watch, now that I've said goodbye, I'm going to become an avid writer...we shall see!)

You guys are the best!

Feisty :)

Friday, August 10, 2012

Marriage Prep 101

I wasn't sure I would write more on this blog, but I think for now I've decided to see how I feel about blogging about this new part of my life and take it from there.

I'd really love to talk about marriage now and what I've learned so far.

Lesson #1: Letting Go

I'd like to reiterate the fact that it's absolutely not what I expected, it's way more complex and 100 times better. I always had these pictures in my head about what married life would be like, and if you too have ideas and expectations, I suggest you dispose of them now rather than later. I would say that this issue was the number one thing that has prevented me from reaching pure happiness throughout my life (e.g. school, seminary, camp, etc. When I expected it to be one way and it ended up being totally different, I was devastated and couldn't move forward.) Here, though, thank G-d, I think I've finally learned my lesson. It's incredible what you can do with your life when you just let go. And by letting go, I mean in every sense. Stop stressing yourself out, stop needing things to be your way, stop having to take control and viola! Happy time! (Yes, I'm very obviously talking to myself, so there's no need to take offense!)

G-d willing more to come :)

P.S. I absolutely adore men in wedding rings. And if not rings, then I personally think that married men need to have some type of blazing sign to all those ravenous man-hunters out there that they are off-limits (speaking as a former man hunter myself ;) I constantly find myself in situations where I feel the urgent need to snap my fingers like a black woman and yell "getcho paws off my man, woman, or Ima cutchu!" Yeah, um. I'm not really that violent. It's really just all in my head. I think...

Peace out (See! I'm peaceful!)

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

What to do...

So as I've mentioned before, it's hard to think of what to write when WAAYYY too many of my friends and relatives know who I am. (It's starting to feel like every day now that someone calls me up and says, "you're feisty frummy, aren't you?!" Even my angel of a brother found out who I am! I hope all you bloggers who would like to remain anonymous take a lesson or 4 from me:
A) Don't leave your laptop and blog in plain sight for others to see and snoop around. It's too tempting.
B) Don't tell ANYONE that you have a blog.
C) If B is too hard for you, try to keep it to a minimal number of people, because I've learned that people will literally search the internet for hours to stalk someone and satiate their curiosity (me included :/)
D) Don't write about when you've gotten engaged/married/ur birthday-that's usually what people use to confirm their suspicions.

So now what do I do? Do I write less truthfully/more boringly? Do I stop writing completely (the approach I've been taking as of late)? Or do I just write like I used to and stop caring (like I claimed I would in a previous post)? Suggestions are most certainly welcome!

Love you all!


Yaldah Magazine

Hi everyone,

I know it's been a while, but I've come out of the woodwork for something I truly believe in. I was recently in contact with a lovely young woman named Leah Caras. She told me all about how she was searching for a positive and appropriate magazine to read in her teen years and could not find a thing. So, taking the initiative as it seems more and more orthodox Jewish women are doing these days (i.e. Mindy Meyer), she decided to create one herself (at the mere age of 13!). I think it's a fantastic idea! I remember being a teenager and trying to sneak a bunch of seventeen and people magazines past my mother, only to find them in the garbage an hour later (my mother knows trash when she sees it.)
This magazine is all about what young Jewish girls are thinking about, and how to help them grow into confident, healthy and beautiful young women. I absolutely love it! Check out her website here:)

All my best,
FF :)