It seems that every time I’m ready to jump back into the blogging world, something comes up. This time, that something was graduation. Yay! I graduated college! I wasn’t really even going to go to graduation, but after much persuasion by my husby, I decided to go. You might be wondering, “what’s wrong with this girl?! Why WOULDN’T she want to go to her OWN college graduation?” Well, there are a few reasons for that.
A) I’m not done with my college career; my degree won’t get me much of a job. There’s more school coming up, and I don’t feel I can celebrate just yet.
B) This is the last time I’m going to see all my friends and be near the people I’ve spent such crucial parts of my life with. Why should I smile about it?
C) Because now I have no way to measure how I’m doing in life.
I’d like to focus on C for now. Up until this point, I’ve always measured my worth by my grades. (I know, that’s a lot of unnecessary pressure, right?) Many people measure themselves by how they look, how many friends they have, how rich they are, and even how "frum" they are. I'll admit, some of those have seeped their way into my measurement criteria as well...but why? I know intellectually, and even emotionally, that the only thing that matters is my connection to G-d. And yet, all I can think about is my grades. Starting now, I’m going to be taking a break from school for a while, AND I’m moving to a new place...without friends. What or who is going to tell me I’m doing well? (My husband is a little biased ;)
A good friend of mine once told me that she made sure to never let that be her. She made it a priority to constantly be involved in LOTS of different programs/organizations/activities, so that no one part of her life could define her. I admire her for that, but I must say, I’m not exactly the best multi-tasker (though, I CAN pat my head and rub my stomach at the same time! J).
Now you're trying it too, aren't you? ;)
It’s crazy how much has changed in the past year; it was the best and hardest year of my life. Can’t wait to share more with ya’ll. Missed you guys J